my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Dignity is for republicans.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
