Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
where are my pants?
in the oven.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
