what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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