Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
