Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
