it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
