You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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