do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
