dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
