But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
