i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
3 2 1 whiskey
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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