dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
