Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
