last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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