My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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