You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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