that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
