Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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