cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
