She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
