Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize