please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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