your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
