He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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