high people should be assigned attendants
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize