RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
