Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
So. Much. Porn.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
