Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
