at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
