Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
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Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
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I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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