apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
