At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.