I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
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Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
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I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!