Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
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fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
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Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.