Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
