hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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