Buhtt sex?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
