There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
