??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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