I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
