currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize