Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
