i think my mom watched the whole time
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
