i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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