He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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