You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
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oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
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So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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