I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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