My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
smell my finger.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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