That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
