I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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