it wasn't lemon gatorade
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize