I swear she didn't look like that last week.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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