i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
