Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize