Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
