is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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