I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You pole danced in your parka.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
