i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I need a beard to bite.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize