At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
