Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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