You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize