More tranny stories later!
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
