matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You're so nebulous sometimes
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize