i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
