I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
