well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
high people should be assigned attendants
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
How naked do you want me to be?
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