Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
