Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
