just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I have already put on my inside pants.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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